How to Get Fat

by Dr. Feeder

Introduction

This article is not for people who are 'too skinny' and want to reach a normal weight, or for people who want to put on muscle, or for people who want to gain weight for health reasons.

This article is for people who want to be fatter than they are now. People who want to be fatter than the insurance charts and diet mavens say you're supposed to be.

This is not the healthiest thing to do. You're doing it because you want to be fat so much that the risks are worth it. Consult a doctor, or at least check out the Life Expectancy Calculator to see what impact this weight may have on your health. (Note that you have to enter your height in inches, e.g. 65 instead of 5'6"). You may be able to do other things to compensate. Also, while these tips will help you gain weight, you should go back to more sensible eating habits when you're not gaining weight.

Of course, happiness contributes to health, so if getting fat makes you happy, there might be a compensatory effect. I have no hard data on this though.

If you try out these tips, I'd appreciate it if you tell me how things go. E-Mail me: DrFeeder@gmail.com.

The Tips

  1. Be sure about this. Once you get fat, it will be very difficult, even impossible, to change your mind and get back to your current size. If you have any doubts, read my article Deciding to Get Fat.
  2. Some people do best with frequent snacking, so this might not work for everyone: Don't eat too often...always skip breakfast, and even lunch if you can. But when you finally do eat, eat a lot. This will be easy, because you'll be really hungry. Also, your metabolism will have slowed down from your fasting; more of the food will be converted to fat.
  3. It can also help to eat really fast, getting as much food in before your stomach realizes you're full.
  4. Always set out a large variety of fattening food, more than you can eat. This will stimulate the appetite. Even if you can't finish, you'll eat a great deal. A variation of this is to eat a lot of non-sweet food--burgers or pasta or something--and then, when you feel like you can't eat another bite, switch to something sweet for dessert. You'll find you have more room than you thought!
  5. The Glutton's Pledge can help. It seems to help different people in different ways.
    1. Some read it whenever they're about to eat. Helps the appetite.
    2. Some were in denial about being gluttons before, since society mostly considers it a bad thing. The Pledge forces them to accept that they are gluttons and even embrace it. They find this incredibly liberating.
    3. Some print it out and carry it around like a talisman, to remind themselves they're not alone.
    4. Some read it during moments of doubt, to help them feel good about gaining.
    5. Some just find it validating, since it articulates things they've thought about but never heard expressed before.
  6. Exactly what you eat is not so important. Eat the foods you enjoy the most, especially if they're fattening.
  7. If eating lots of fattening food makes you feel nauseated, eat less of it. Gradually increase the the proportion of fattening food you eat until you can eat lots of it easily.
  8. Don't eat too much! If you eat to the point of pain, overeating may become a chore and become harder and harder to do. Have fun!
  9. Drink some alcohol whenever you overeat. This will encourage the body to store the extra calories as fat. It will also make it more fun to stuff yourself.
  10. A "Feeder", usually a lover who wants to see you gain, will be of great use. Make sure your Feeder reads this article and helps you follow all the tips.
  11. It also helps to find an 'Eating Buddy', someone else who also wants to gain. You will eat more if other people are eating with you.
  12. The best eating buddy is one who is fatter and has a bigger appetite than you do, to provide you with a good example.
  13. Only grocery shop when you're hungry. You will tend to buy fattening food, and more of it.
  14. Get some exercise, but not too much.
  15. To check your progress, measure your thigh at the fullest part. This is a much more reliable measure of fatness than weight or belly measurements, which can change depending on how much you've eaten or (for women) the time of the month.
  16. Don't try to hide those extra pounds...it won't work anyway. Wear them proudly!
  17. Never apologize for your appetite.
  18. Never apologize for how much you've gained.
  19. Never apologize for how big you are.
  20. Never promise to diet.
  21. If people comment on your weight, just shrug and say you really like to eat.
  22. Befriend fat people. You'll feel much better about your gain than you will around skinny people.
  23. If you hit a plateau--that is, if you reach a certain weight and don't seem to be able to gain anymore--try losing weight and then gaining it back. Usually the re-gain is faster and more intense than the original gain and you'll end up gaining more than you lost.
  24. Warning: You may enjoy this more than you expect! Don't be surprised if you end up fatter than you're contemplating now.

Tips from Layla

I met Layla (right) on Fantasy Feeder. There is some redundancy between her tips and mine but I like the way Layla puts things. And she obviously knows what she's talking about!

  1. Ok so lots of people have messaged me and asked how i gained all my weight so i thought if i just quickly wrote it here they would see
  2. smoking weed and drinking makes you hungry and not care so much about the quality or even taste of food and when you get full if u have another bong you can finish it usually
  3. cram as much in your mouth in 20 minutes and keep going cuz ur stomach doesnt register its full
  4. wake up in the morning and dont eat anything until at night and then just binge on all the worst foods imaginable
  5. kfc, macass, bk, pizza, pasta, garlic bread, chinese, fish n chips all takeaway i have them atleast twice a day usually
  6. Just drink coke and juice all the time
  7. make a milkshake of weight gain powder, full cream milk and full fst icecream and drink before bed
  8. alwasys have chips and easy to eat snacks with you when like watching tv or on the computer because ull mindlessly eat them all
  9. always only have nice unhealthy food in your house but make sure u eat heaps of fruit otherwist to be ***ing frank youll be back up ay ..gross and no one wants to drnk prune juice bleugh
  10. have like the worst portion control ever like bake or buy a cake or donuts whatever really and trick yourself into eating it by like only having one slice and then thinking in ur head ' no no i cant have any more we need to save it' and then if your like me throughout the day you will keep sneaking over there and slicing tiny bit off until theres like one slice left snd then you think well might as well eat that so then you dispose of all rubbish and wash the dishes so mum doesnt tell you off hahahahhaha d
  11. or is that just me......hhaha mm and do like no exercise